Too Much Communication?

March 5, 2008

Dear Deb,

May I be the first to ask you a question?

In a relationship how much communication is to much communication and is there even such a thing? When does to much attention start to seem desperate?

Gabby in New York

Dear Gabby,

Every relationship is unique. What one person would find annoyingly chatty would to another be endearing. Don’t worry too much about what is the “norm” and pay attention to your partner’s body language. Is he or she responding to you? Does he or she communicate back or do you hog the floor? Does he/she seem interested or bored? It’s never good to monopolize the conversation. Let your communication be a give-and-take.

It also depends on the subject matter. You used the word “desperate” which makes me think you’re not talking about shoes. I think you can talk too much about the status of your relationship with your partner. Have you heard the expression “if ain’t broke, don’t fix it?” Be secure in the fact that your partner is with you because he/she enjoys your company and wants to be with you. If you have a problem or concern address the issue with your partner, then drop it. Let it go, enjoy your relationship and just let it “be.”

If your partner is the one that’s constantly talking about the relationship to you then reassure him/her that everything is fine (I’m assuming it’s fine) and let it go. If he/she still finds the need to needle you with questions, address each issue one by one and try to find a solution.

Being desperate and needy is never good because your relationship is then based on fear and insecurity. The bottom line is this: good relationships are based on trust. A good relationship will make you feel…well…good! Listen to your gut. In time, you’ll know if this relationship is the right one for you. Good luck!





March 3, 2008

Hello everyone and welcome! I want to invite you to send me your questions, comments, joys and complaints about this crazy thing called love. It was Shakespeare who wrote:

Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove.
O no, it is an ever-fixèd mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken…

I don’t know about you but I have found that love shakes, bends, alters and removes. It also shapes our lives, makes us feel whole and drives us crazy. And yet, we continue to look for it, to dream about it, to yearn for it. “Because the truth is there’s no sense living your life without love. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love, well, you haven’t lived a life at all. You have to try. Because if you haven’t tried, you haven’t lived.”

I want to help you. We can help each other. Drop me a line.


I look forward to hearing from you!